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and by the way, Rock​-​N​-​Roll

by Deadron

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1.
BTWRNR 01:38
2.
Know that I'm restless. Hey diamond eyes, I won't let you miss this. I'm hung up and crucified. So, undivide your attention and give me your trust. I've locked my own cage, now collecting my dust atop this lonely shelf. I'll do it all myself. And when it's done you'll find me closer in love to the grudge I thought I set free. "I didn't lie, I didn't leave" oh, but you put on the squeeze just to bleed it out of me. It didn't hurt to ask or kill to hear. You didn't feel much of anything or notice that we're foreign relations. We estrange and pull apart, leaving one side bitter of the others golden heart. So when freedom becomes dependency, the sickness is the remedy. "I'm dead set on changing for you now" well, I think it's funny how you wait it out for me when you know I won't come around. The pressure in her chest beats the wings of happiness. Reminded of the better things, she'll fly her empty nest. Nothing hurts like old love making its way through brand new skin. A life of warding yourself from an unwelcome ghost that let itself in.
3.
Crawl up the tower, close the door. Fill the room like so many have before. Place a cowl upon my face. Of all the open space, the cavern that is darkest as the chaos leaves me still. Water runs deeper than you know. As movement turns by memory that all your muscles show. As I plummet down you well, surely no escape. Perfectly conceived with an infatuating shape. An exit is a blessing when you're stuck inside this place. Willingly destroyed in the mercy that is fate. Fantasize the action. Feel the warmth in the reaction. Sick spell of the distraction. My weakness the attraction. Feral looks, anointed lips - I'll bow before your poison hips if I could only get a fucking grip. "Little places in your mind where you hide from me. I know your disguise and you can't deceive. Picture what you want, pretend it isn't me. I am your disease" A slave to it, a petrified display. Tied up in fear as the knot begins to fray. My exile approaches. Faintly kiss goodbye. Black in all directions - rip the cowl from my eyes. Final destination. Further down I fall, finding freedom at the bottom and then I start to crawl up the tower.
4.
Coalesce 03:38
A slow convalescence for me. Monosyllabic Constantine. How did I contract this maddening disease? Disintegrates the part that make me believe. Consumed by the wicked well, shut up so I'll never tell. Remised at the site of this empty shell. The kind of loneliness it brings reveals the piece that's barred from me. Selfish imagery of misery. A jagged line of symmetry testing the fragility. Define this insanity. Slide my fingers deep. Weave the flesh. Here's my soul it's yours to keep. If you promise to be quiet I'll make you scream. Stop running because I'm coming and I want to be clean. Sick meandering disgust sweltering of lust. Loose dog eared thoughts catch finger tips passing pages of my body I didn't know exist. I lay this to rest, painfully confess. Clairvoyance washes over me. I coalesce - what's left?
5.
Diamond Eyes 05:22
Double back and search all the shadows. A skeleton is all that shows. Wander out in faded false ideals. A jagged cross, oh my god this can't be real. I would say I'm sorry but I'm not. Prepared you for the jump and then you dropped. Restarting only works if you just stop, but you can't trade the cards with what you've got. The sparkle in your eyes is impossible to see. Like diamonds, they're dirty and you'll never get them clean. You are so far gone. Second guess the best intent. Just board it up and play pretend. The only thing there is to regret is wasted years and what they meant. Maybe remorse is your best friend. You're sleeping sweetly in that bed. I'm unabashed I cant comprehend the twisted cog, snapped key, and a bitter end. The only cure is time. Well, at least it was mine. If we don't make ourselves so sick, how can we get better? We were like the ocean tide - crashing, splitting open wide. If we don't make ourselves so sick, how can we get better? I'll double back and collect all of your bones.

about

"An ode to ex-lovers and ex-friends"

Recorded by Marley Van Raalte
Mastered by Aaron Isaacson

Marley Van Raalte guitars
Andrew Golz guitars & vocals
Ron Oxley vocals
Brendan Carter bass guitar
Zach Peterson drums & percussion

Thank you to Alexa Nissen for her additional vocals on Down You Well & Cameron Rockwell for his cello on Coalesce and Track 6

© 2014 Deadron (BMI)

credits

released October 28, 2014

Art by Josh Elliott
Fonts by Andrew Golz & Joe Turek
Layout by Zach Peterson

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Still Here Records Freeport, Illinois

Still Here Records is an art collective and independent record label based in Freeport, Illinois.

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