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.​.​.​Happy Again

by Cardinal / Tarantulahawk

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    This is the self-recorded split from the two Midwest bands, Cardinal and Tarantulahawk, about depression, friends, and finding ways to be happy again.
    We're always depressed in January. But we're still among friends, just a few shy of being happy again.

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Produced & Engineered by Cardinal & Tarantulahawk
Recorded by Marley Van Raalte in Freeport, IL / Spring 2012
All music by Cardinal and Tarantulahawk
Songs 7-9 © 2012 Tarantulahawk. BMI. All Rights Reserved

Cardinal is Alexa Nissen, Brian Nissen, Chris Ranney, & Marley Van Raalte
Tarantulahawk is Andrew Golz, Brian Nissen, Ron Oxley, Zach Peterson, & Marley Van Raalte

Thanks to Luke Franzen [From the Mire, Prepare for Glory] for his guest vocals



released 03 May 2012

Recorded by Marley Van Raalte
Design by Zach Peterson
Cover photo by Dylan Van Raalte



all rights reserved


feeds for this album, this artist
Track Name: Cardinal - Too Silent
God and nothing have a lot in common
When they peek through the crack in my bedroom door
The human constitution is effected, oh
By their eyes and the way they look
When they have me on the floor

I'm asleep and I can dream
I'm always awake
But its all the same to me

God and nothing are the same it seems sometimes
They both put me down when i look in their eyes Sometimes

I can breathe so slowly
But the air comes fast and i'm that much closer to where i'm at

Here is the shadow of truth
For only the shadow is truth
And the line where the incoming swell from the sunset Pacific
I find myself 'cause nothing doesn't exist
And if God is everywhere, then the shadow is just no light and there's no reason to be scared

That can be a way to love
Track Name: Cardinal - Settings 1
That family must have been so tired
The corners of their mouths and their ties touched just right
They really needed a small boy tonight

The head needed to be humbled
His confidence always stripped and fumbled
The mother needed love and the kids saw their dead dad in the woods
And they didn't tell us for two weeks

A boy would come and his shadow would cast all that aside
A shadow and light, learning the childeren a tide
His confidence glowed oh so unlike dad
Man, Peter you crow
Make the boys follow and the girls go mad

The boy who looked in the window and learned betrayal in what he saw
Many months had been spent in the gardens with the birds and just a nest to call home
His mind still young took in what it saw at a great cost
Now his mom is the sky and his real mother shut him out and left him to die

This is a bird's life
Stealing children and making families alright
You can only learn from the birds how to fly and fight like a sharp taloned hen
And this is how a baby is
How it forgets and almost forgives
His vanity is his only saving grace

Boy why are you crying?
I know you've come to save me
Track Name: Cardinal - Midwest Song
Don't tell me what you think
Friend, give me what you know
If you can't speak the truth with your words
Then do it with your soul

We're always depressed in January
You'll find us around a fire
Sad words and sad songs
And being alone, it's what we're born into

In August the corn is no longer knee high
It blocks our view of the world
So in November we own downtown
In January we're depressed but

We're still together in the Midwest
We're always together in the Midwest

We speak from hearts 'cause there's no one to hear
Just me and my friends and our habits and fears
Track Name: Cardinal - Sailboat
We are a genius
We dug up the desert's secrets and drank from the water underneath
The plains taught us about seeds
Yeah, where to plant them
Then we woke up from our dream
Now we're obsessed with finding out if we can't live while asleep

I'm a sailboat
With a gun on it
I'm a savior
But i'm not sure if land exists
Track Name: Cardinal - Dreams, Dreams
I'm going to a land that's not broken by hands hard
'Cause I don't want my landscapes to reflect my heart


Whispers far proceed the dawn
I'll be there soon
To hear your voice, I'll put my hands to my ears
And cup 'em to the moon
Track Name: Cardinal - Choke on the Weather
Cantels flew in the field but a bard gathered them up
He wove them into a rug
The bards may be iccarus I fear
'Cause you said it was pretty
But we went to war the next year

The grass there grows no water
But your and my blood soaks to the ground
Now there's no one around
The sun sinks down behind the water
To our right
And they all walk away to our left

It's so sad, but we need to embrace this death
It's a wood burned to coal to create a lasting heat
We give up our souls so you can see from the highest tree

Hopefully our ghost will become your ghost
And my pain will weaken your knees

Fall before the sunset
Inhale the rain
And choke on the weather

I know that that's not art
But for you it will be a good start
Track Name: Tarantulahawk - Everything
All my friends are sad, but they're not sad enough
I know some people got it bad
But man we got it rough

Empty out my pockets
Tear open my arms
But you're getting too old for this

Call you on the phone
Tell you what you missed
You missed everything
Track Name: Tarantulahawk - Nothing
Nothing feels right anymore
Nothing feels quite like it did before

I feel so old in my head
I've hardly lived and I'm nearly dead
My feet are stuck to floor
Just outside where mine meet yours

It's the paint on the wall
It's coming undone
Slowly I'll become

I'ts the paint on the wall
It's nothing I can see
It's nothing I can't be
Track Name: Tarantulahawk - Among Friends
When I'm at home it comes to me
We're alone

We're alive, we're alone
When we're in love
When we're too high off the ground
The distance fills our lungs and we choke it down

But we're still among friends
Just a few shy of being happy again